Life is…complicated. It is full of moments that bring joy, peace, and pride. It is also full of moments that cause stress and sadness. As humans, we experience the full breadth of these emotions with friends and family who can offer support. As employees, though, we experience these emotions in a much more complex environment. With rules and regulations governing things like sick leave, paid time off, health benefits, and flexible work arrangements, it can feel quite confusing to identify how (if ever) to share personal news – especially with your supervisor. Since life doesn’t stop just because you’ve started your workday, here are 3 considerations to think about as you prepare to talk with your supervisor about something personal.
Consider how much you’d like to share.
Your supervisor is not entitled to know everything about your personal life. Even in supervisory relationships that are positive, warm, and productive, you are not required to divulge personal news. When you choose to do so, you should figure out ahead of time what details and language you want to use. Be intentional about what and how you’re framing the issue. For instance, if you were just diagnosed with an illness, you might want to focus on the impact of that illness on work rather than the details of the illness itself.
Consider timing.
You should identify a time to tell your supervisor when you both will have the ability to discuss the situation. Maybe you add the topic to an upcoming one-on-one. Maybe you add a separate meeting time to your supervisor’s calendar. Maybe you just pop your head into their office and say, “Hi. Do you have some time to talk?” Since you won’t know the reaction and questions your supervisor will have, it’s important to build in time to talk through as much as possible.
Consider what you are hoping to get from your supervisor.
Ask yourself what you need to get from sharing this news with your supervisor. Do you need a specific thing – accommodations, an adjustment to your schedule, an adjustment to your responsibilities? Do you want to share just as a ‘heads-up?’ Having this need at the top of your mind will be helpful as you try to guide the conversation.
With the interconnectedness of work and financial stability, it can be nerve-wracking to share personal news with a supervisor. Be sure to reach out to people you trust to help prepare for these kinds of conversations. Make an appointment with a staff member at the CCD if you need help.
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